


i've been avoiding you (sorry if you feel alone)

by lilykat



Series: if i fell in love with you, would you bring me the moon (or broken beer bottles and fresh war wounds)? [5]
Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Multi, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:02:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27299113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilykat/pseuds/lilykat
Summary: Black realizes something and has a bit of a crisis over it.
Relationships: Black & White (Among Us), Black & Yellow (Among Us), Black/White (Among Us), Blue/Pink (Among Us), Pink & White (Among Us)
Series: if i fell in love with you, would you bring me the moon (or broken beer bottles and fresh war wounds)? [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986031
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	i've been avoiding you (sorry if you feel alone)

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of a breather between all the angst and murder. Hope you enjoy!

Black opened the panel in the wall and plugged in his tablet. He always hated the downloading and uploading tasks, they always took too long. He glanced at White who was lightly bouncing his head against the wall with his eyes closed. Black took this chance to drink him in.

The past few days have been hell. He’s put space between them, built up walls that White knocked down easily and unknowingly. He hasn’t slept well these days. He missed White's small touches of reassurance. He fucking misses the forehead kisses. He hates the hurt look White tries to hide whenever Black moves away.

Like right now. 

Whtie swayed towards him, his fingers reaching out to grab his where they were tapping on his thigh. Black saw the movement and brought his hand up to clutch his tablet. Hurt and confusion were written plainly on White's face before a mask of indifference slid into place. 

His heart clenched and he struggled to breathe for a second. He watched from the corner of his eye as White brought his hands up to pull his hair back into a bun in jerky, almost angry, movements. He heard him mumble something and then White walked along the wall before turning into the nearest hallway. Black's heart jumped into his throat and he wanted to go after him. He glanced down at his tablet, just one more minute.

He kept looking at the hallway, hoping he’d see White come back. _Please don’t leave me, I’ll give you my heart, soul, and mind, anything you want, just please don’t leave me._

His tablet beeped cheerfully and he hurriedly unplugged it before running down into the hallway. He breathed a sigh of relief. White was just fixing wirings. He schooled his face into something he hoped was neutral and walked up next to him, his eyes greedily taking him in while White was turned away. His eyes kept being drawn to his hair. A dark green-blue that stood out against the white of his suit and the metallic grays of the ship.

_He’s beautiful, his mind, his heart, his soul, everything about him_. God, he loves him so much. Black's entire body lit on fire. Oh fuck, he loves him. God, he’s such a fucking idiot. Now isn’t the time to fall in love with anyone, not when he’s supposed to be on edge with everyone. Not when he doesn’t know who to trust and who he shouldn’t. Not when White could be an impostor. Fucking hell, he loves him. 

When White turned to look at him and gave him a tentative grin, Black's face turned red. He mumbled something, a mess of Spanish and English, and looked down at his tablet, debating whether he should hit himself with it or not. “I have to go do upload,” he actually spoke understandable words this time and waved vaguely in the direction of wherever the fuck admin is because his mind didn’t know anymore. All he knew was the man standing in front of him, looking at him expectantly. 

What was he expecting? Black didn’t fucking know because his brain wasn’t working anymore. 

“Are you gonna go,” White asked, raising his brows and pointing towards admin. 

“Right,” he nodded, “yeah.” He was sure his entire face was red. He turned around and tripped into the wall when he moved too quickly. Whtie snorted and Black wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow him. He hurried across the cafeteria and down into another hallway and finally into admin. 

Pink was there, waving at them when they walked in. “Why are you so red? Are you sick or something?”

“I’m fine, shut up about it,” he mumbled. He couldn’t stop himself from glancing at White which Pink definitely noticed. He ignored her teasing smile and wiggling eyebrows as he started upload.

“What did you do to him,” Pink asked White, a wide shit-eating smile on her face. 

White's brows furrowed, “Nothing, why?”

“No reason,” she said, her voice light and teasing as she looked back down at the map. She stifled a laugh and looked back up at Black with a raised eyebrow.

“He didn’t do anything,” he rushed out, “I was just… thinking.”

“Must’ve been some wild thoughts,” she muttered under her breath, sending him a wink.

He grabbed the nearest object, a pen, and chucked it at her. She laughed, something free and big. He smiled at that. He’s hadn’t heard her laugh like that in a while. Pink was someone who filled empty space with her brightness and big energy but lately, she had shrunk. Made herself small, too afraid to be anything else. Everyone was afraid of being too loud, too bright, too much of anything, not wanting to catch the attention of the impostors. 

He turned around and leaned against the wall, enjoying the sight of Pink and White chatting happily amongst themselves. For a few seconds, Black could pretend that nothing bad was happening. Just enjoy Pink's smile and the way White's nose scrunched up when he laughed. Then he turned red, again, when he noticed himself noticing White. He hated that he was noticing all these small things now. The way his nose scrunches up, the fact that his smile is a little uneven, the way his eyes shine when he’s happy, the way the light catches his hair, the way, the way, the way…

His tablet beeped and he unplugged it. He looked at the tasks he had left and saw he had wires out in storage. Glancing back up at the other two, watching them talk and laugh like everything’s normal, he didn’t want to pop the bubble they were in. And the task was just out in the hallway so he quietly slipped out and rounded the corner.

He, surprisingly, got through wires without anything bad happening. He walked around the storage crates until he was standing in front of the window. He placed his tablet and gloves on a nearby crate and took a deep breath. He tried to release everything when he blew it out, feeling his shoulders drop a little and his lungs have more room to breathe. 

“What is it about you two and this window,” Yellow asked as she silently stepped up next to him. 

“White and I?”

“Yeah,” she leaned forward a little, “You guys are always just standing here silently and staring out.”

He hummed in thought. He found it relaxing in a way. The stillness of the stars unnerved him a little but otherwise, it was relaxing. “I find it peaceful,” he explained, “I come here when I need a breather.”

She nodded her head and absentmindedly rubbed her arm. He saw bandages peeking out from under the sleeve of her suit. “Is it still bothering you,” he asked, nodding at her arm.

She sighed, “Yeah but it mostly just itches now.” She intertwined her hands behind her back and gently rocked on her feet, a soft grin on her face as she looked out the window. “I think I get it.”

He smiled at her and bumped their shoulders together. This was nice. He breathed easy, just standing there with her and looking out the window. They stayed there for a few silent minutes before a muffled beep snapped him out of a daze he didn’t know he was in. 

Yellow looked down at her watch, “Crap, I forgot I was supposed to be grabbing something for Orange.” She smiled at the window and then up at him, “I get the window now, this was nice.” She bumped his shoulder before leaving the room.

He took another breath before slipping his gloves back on and grabbing his tablet. He bumped into White on the way back to admin. “I’m finished with everything,” he said, holding up his tablet showing all the green checkmarks. He didn’t have time to move when White quickly slid his hand into Black's free hand. A green-blue butterfly sprung to life behind his heart and started beating its wings.

“I still have two left,” White said, dragging him out of storage and into another hallway. Black didn’t hear a word he said. He focused only on the warm fingers intertwined with his. White could be leading him to the airlock and he wouldn’t have cared. “Both in electrical.”

He nodded along with whatever he said. His skin was on fire and his thoughts were simple, all pointing to the man in front of him. The man he was so in love with he’s an idiot for not noticing it sooner. His brain turned small to make room for all the things he was now noticing. He hated that he was noticing all these things now, he hated that he was overanalyzing any interaction he’s had with him. His brain turned stupid and irrational when he fell in love with someone and he didn’t like it. Especially now when he needed to be on alert and thinking clearly, now his brain was fogged over. Being near White made him dizzy, and foggy, and stupid, and all things he didn’t want to be. 

“This is starting to feel a lot like when we first met,” White mentioned quietly.

Black still had nightmares about their first assignment together. Their captain had been super lax, maybe if he had been more strict everyone could’ve made it out alive. That was when their relationship had moved beyond coworkers when they were the only two who could share the trauma. The only two who came out of there alive. 

“It won’t be,” he said with such confidence he believed himself. 

White looked at him, “I hope so too.” He reached out and squeezed Black's hand reassuringly before returning his attention to an open panel in front of him. 

Black watched quietly as White calibrated something that he never bothered learning the name of. He remembered the December after their first assignment together. It had been almost a year since they had physically seen each other. They had kept contact when they were apart but they had finally been in the city at the same time and seized the opportunity. It was cold and they were bundled up in jackets and scarves, walking squished together down a Christmas-decorated street. When it started raining they ducked into a bookstore with a little cafe attached. There had been a fluffy black cat that walked through the aisles and laid on the comfy chairs and Black had been so excited by it. They spent hours there, even after the rain went away. They drank numerous hot beverages and talked about nothing important. At one point, the sun had broken through the clouds, and the way that White was backlit, it had shifted something in Black. It had pushed away some of the trauma and anxiety to make room. He hadn’t known for what back then but now he understood.

And he didn’t like it. 

They lived in different cities, they rarely got to be on the same assignments together, they saw each other once a year. It would never work between them. Black was too anxious, too- too not okay to be able to make a relationship work. But the memory of raindrop December came back to his mind, that day had been perfect. A small glimpse of what they could be if Black asked, if he tried, if he tried to be better, if he tried to _get_ better, just, if he _tried_. Maybe one day.

“Earth to Black,” White snapped his fingers in front of his face. “You with me?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just,” he shrugged his shoulders, “You finished?”

White nodded, “I just have to go upload this.”

  
They were back in admin, alone this time. They had caught Pink on her way out with Blue, sending a teasing wink at Black who’s face lit on fire. He smiled though when he saw Pink slip her hand into Blue's and they shared a private smile. It was cute and sweet and he couldn’t help glancing at White. He really didn’t like knowing. He’d rather be oblivious to his feelings, to this feeling in particular. He wished he was so unbothered by White's presence. But he wasn’t. It was gonna be even harder to put more space between them now that Black's whole body sought him out. 

“Do you want to do anything after this,” White asked, staring intently at his tablet.

“Nap,” he said immediately. He was exhausted, finding out that he was in love really took it out of him. 

“Can I come with you, please,” his voice was quiet, barely even a whisper. He sounded desperate and pained and it hurt to listen to it. “I’ll sit at your desk and keep myself busy and quiet, I promise, I just, I don’t…”

“No, I get it,” he reached out before he could stop himself, his fingers curling greedily around White's wrist, “you can come, I don’t mind.”

White quietly sighed in relief, swaying a little closer to Black. His tablet beeped and then they were walking to Black's room. He thought it would be difficult to fall asleep with White there but it was terrifyingly easy. 


End file.
